Every Friday evening for the last ten years my wife and I have visited our local Mexican restaurant y cantina here in Alameda; we go for the food and stay for the booze. Honestly, is there anything better than a tall, frosty Margarita after a long, stressful week of work? I think not.
Over the years we've observed an interesting cross-section of East Bay humanity, a broad variety of drunkards, liars, loudmouths and we're pretty sure a few off-duty whores. Everyone's a local, no one's a native... we're just a bunch of mutts; it's kind of a dysfunctional, extended family - hell, I've spent more time with these bartenders than I have with my own brother over the last decade.
On our modest income this is the closest we're ever going to come to owning a vacation home. So we've come to expect a certain level of etiquette and decorum when people come to visit. Lately we've borne witness to a disturbing new trend of stupid human behavior, which we've termed: "douchebaggery". First, you have to understand, this is a working class place, the bar is always jammed, the crowds are generally raucous and the lights are kept low - it's surely not a place for kids of any age. Seriously. Anyone with half a brain could see that. So why the fuck are people dragging their whiny, slobbering, bratty-assed kids into my pub? At 9 o' clock in the evening?
Last night we're camped out in the bar, hanging at one of those tiny chest-high tables that's barely capable of supporting two drinks and a bowl of tortilla chips. It's elbow-to-elbow, loud as a soccer match and I'm up one house Margarita. There's an NBA game on one TV and ESPN's Friday Night Fights on another, so yeah, shit is muy bueno. Then in walks this dude wearing a waist-length, slate gray leather jacket and a pair of sunglasses, though it's been dark for at least two hours - classic wardrobe choices of the East Bay douchebag - he's accompanied by a woman who has the shape and carriage of mature sea-lion, her extended ass swinging more front-to-back than left-to-right. As they weave through the drunken crowd I notice he's holding a baby carrier in front of him with, wait for it, an infant inside. Who in the fuck brings a baby to a bar on a Friday night? It's douchebaggery, I tell you!
When did it become acceptable to bring small children into a bar? Are people really so shallow and stupid that they...
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